i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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