the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
