I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
BRING THE BAGELS
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
