I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
