Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
