I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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