You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
