Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
