What a fucking waste of an outfit
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i dont even know how to be here
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
