So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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