how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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