He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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