bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
