U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Someone came in the potted fern
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
