im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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