He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
