Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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