Sponge bath it is.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
