She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
