Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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