I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
