Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
