Where did you get a picture of my penis
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
