I feel great
I just peed on a car
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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