your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
