im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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