it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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