I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
