I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
