I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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