Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize