My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
