Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize