Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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