yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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