Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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