Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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