Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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