I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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