I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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