So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
