I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my sisters under your porch take her home
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
