Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
well you can't waste a boner
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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