Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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