I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
All the doctor said was why
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
