So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My feet surprised me
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