Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
