I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
