Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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