so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
