what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
