We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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