Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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