ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
