I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i think i have two assholes
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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