I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
