i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
