I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Sorry about my life...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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