just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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