Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
