Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
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Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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