He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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