I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
