i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
